I could be in London in 48 hours.
It is 2am Friday night (or Saturday morning, depending on how you look at it), and like usual I can’t sleep. While I was tossing and turning and crying and praying and wishing, I got an idea.
Why not just leave?
I want to so bad. So why not do it?
What do I have to lose? There is nothing holding me back, it isn’t too late to drop out of SPU (minus the 500 dollar deposit I would lose, but whatever). Not to mention I don’t even want to go to SPU.
It is something like $1200 dollars, a hell of a lot less than a quarter at SPU, and I would be gone. Of course I would have to make arrangements when I got their, but could it really be worse than here? I mean, I am about to go into ridiculous debt for a school I don’t plan on graduating from, for a degree in which I don’t really need to go to college for.
Maybe it would be better for me if I did just spend a few months in Europe reading books on trains and writing poems in front of castles. Maybe I would make a few friends that I would laugh with, and go on adventures with, and remember what it is like to be alive with. Maybe I would find a new passion, or get really good at art. Maybe I could learn a language, heck, maybe I could never come back to America. It might be better that way anyways (especially if Hillary wins).
but then again…
Maybe I would arrive in London, only to realize nobody is there to pick me up. Maybe I would go on for a week, but not be able to avoid memories of first kisses and being….happy. Maybe I would lose my passport, or lose my wallet (I still haven’t replaced the last wallet that got stolen in Europe), or lose my soul. Maybe I wouldn’t care about Jesus, or what God has planned for my life, or what He has already told me (assuming He has told me something). Maybe I would miss out on something amazing.
but then again…
but then again…
But then again…It’s what I will be saying the rest of my life, I am sure of it.
Don’t worry, both of you who read my blog, don’t worry. I (probably) won’t go anywhere, other than SPU next quarter. But I will dream.
